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New Hampshire conductorFor that, they have milking machines Look artistic when you play that Please don't use the depth-charge pizzicato (to cellos) you sound like your fingers are doing the walking trough the Yellow Pages Play short, especially if you don't know where you are Play that for your dogs and cats, when they stop howling, you've got it right It doesn't need to be good, it just needs to be loud You should play a soft forte We start at bar three, even those of you with all your fingers cut off can find it Play as if you were musicians look busy at the beginning It sounds like an Italian strawberry festival Play faster, it is getting late Basses, you're too fucking loud It sounds like killer bees on the loose The downbeat has to be up Violas, let your true piggish sides come out Horns, imagine that you've had a really ugly breakfast and it's about to come up Strings, I know what you're thinking: 'with all this racket going on, why am I playing.' Well, there is no time for existential questions right now Above all, don't look worried It sounds as if you're all doing your income taxes I may do something artistic here, which means I'm going to drag Violins, don't try to play the accents, just try to get trough the part without dropping your bows Imagine you get enough money for what you do |